Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
