if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
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