I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
