in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
