Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
