My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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