And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
