I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
