Whod you bang
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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