So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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