Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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