He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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