You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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