Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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