Sponge bath it is.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
