operation have a gay friend backfired
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
