I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
