Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
