Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
