This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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