I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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