I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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