I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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