I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
