Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
