chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
