ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
