after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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