Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
vagina is talking i cant
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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