i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
