Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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