ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
