she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
