brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
