It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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