My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
