Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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