I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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