Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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