i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
