Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
