There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize