once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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