i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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