The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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