I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
