You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
His nipple licking is glorious
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