driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
