You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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