yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
