Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
