he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
