i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
