But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
