Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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