Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
