Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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