I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
