Kiss
Puke
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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